The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (TV Show):
Transcript of a Chat with Christina Applegate

Last update May 21, 1998

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Thanks a lot to Randel August and "Wordsmith" for background informations.


Christina Applegate on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno",
an NBC late night talk show,
original airing on April 21, 1998,
European premiere on April 22, 1998.


NBC's "Tonight Show" is probably the longest-running TV entertainment show in the world. It premiered on September 27, 1954 as "Tonight!" and is still on the air. It changed it's name several times, though:
      "Tonight!" September 27, 1954 - January 25, 1957
      "Tonight: America After Dark" January 28, 1957 - July 26, 1957
      "Jack Paar Tonight Show" July 29, 1957 - March 30, 1962
      "The Tonight Show" April 2, 1962 - September 28, 1962
      "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson" October 1, 1962 - May 22, 1992
      "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" May 25, 1992 - present
From 1962 to 1992, Johnny Carson was the host and Ed McMahon was his announcer. Since 1992, the show is hosted by the stand-up comedian Jay Leno and the announcer is Edd Hall, who appeared on the "Married... with Children" episode "The Good-Bye Girl" (622) as a tour guide.


Key:
[] Description of action
{} Comments
J: Jay Leno (the host)
C: Christina Applegate (Jay's second guest)
K: Kevins Eubanks (the band leader)
H: Howie Mandel (Jay's first guest)
N: Nancy Priddy (Christina's mother)


[Jay's first guest is Howie Mandel, an actor and comedian whose talk show is announced to premiere two months later. When Jay announces Howie, he also makes a little preview for his second guest:]

J: Let's see, Howie Mandel is on his way out, a young actress 'course you know from "Married... with Children"... [To his band leader Kevin Eubanks:] I will ask her about those naked pictures on the internet, Kev.

K: Ho, ho, what's that?

J: There are just naked pictures... allegedly of her, I don't know.

K: On the internet? Naked pictures on the internet?

J: Don't get all excited!

K: [He and the audience laugh out.] I didn't...

J: It's not just for solving math problems apparently. [To the audience:] Christina Applegate!


[After that, Jay welcomes his first guest Howie Mandel. The first thing Howie tells about is that he just saw Al, a fat sound engineer from the crew of the show, in his underpants. Al had a strip act in the show block before Howie's appearance. Howie wears a suit and a purple shirt. After the chat with Howie and a commercial block, Jay introduces Christina. Howie is sitting on the sofa next to the armchair Christina is going to sit in.]


J: My next guest played "Kelly Bundy" for eleven years on "Married... with Children", currently starring in a film called "The Big Hit" which comes out this Friday {April 24, 1998}. Please welcome Christina Applegate!

[Christina enters with a big smile, the audience applauds. She shakes hands with Jay and goes on to Howie Mandel. They also shake hands. Howie tries to kiss her. Christina notices this after a split second and moves her head quickly to his one. Their mouths almost collide, in any case it's a very rough kiss. Howie has to laugh about that, but Christina doesn't care at all and wants to sit down. Jay gives her a microphone.]

J: Here you go. Can you put that on?

C: Thank you! [She tries to put it on.]

J: There you go!

C: [Sits down.] Uh!

J: Are you nervous?

C: [Still busy with the microphone, her head down:] Well, more nervous about this mike taking my top off.

[Some men in the audience cheer. Christina raises her head, but she doesn't smile.]



J: Well, that should get the crowd going.

C: Well... [Finally she finished putting on her microphone and smiles into the camera.]

J: But it is nice to see... have... have you met Howie before? Do you know Howie?

C: [To Howie:] Oh, we met in the hall.

H: We met in the hall!

C: Yeah, it was wonderful.

H: Me, you and Al in his underpants. [The audience laughs, Christina takes Howies hand and looks into the camera.]

C: Special. Hehe.

J: Do you like men in purple?

C: [To Howie:] It's very fabulous... gettin' in touch with that feminine thing.

J: Now, where are you back from, Vegas? Were you just in Las Vegas?

C: Yeah, I was just in Las Vegas

J: Are you a... are you a big... gambler?

C: No, you know... I really can't stand gambling, and every time I go there, I always put money down, and I always lose. And this time, I brought 300 dollars with me.

J: Right.

C: I put 40 dollars down on the table and I lost 300 dollars without without even putting it on the table. I don't know where it went. So I think you go to Vegas and you lose money anyway... even if you don't gamble. [Jay doesn't find this funny at all.]

J: Now if you don't like to gamble, why do you go to Vegas?

C: Oh, I don't know, it always sounds good. You know, like these swingers...

H: These tables... these tables... can I ask you something? These tables that you put your money down on, are they in the casino? [Christina and the audience laugh out.]

C: [To Howie:] Do the casinos have dancing rolls on top of them?

H: I don't know.

C: I'm just kidding. [She looks back to Jay and rolls her eyes, which makes everybody laugh.]

J: Now you are on "Married... with Ch...", it's eleven years?

C: Eleven years, yeah.

J: That's pretty ama... okay, will you... uh... do people think of you as wild? 'Cause you played kind of a wild kid... on that show.

C: Yeah.

J: Are you wild in your regular life? Are you a wild kid... rebelious?

C: [She looks to be uncomfortable.] Oh no. No, not at all. Huhuhu. Uhm, actually... no, I was... I was more rebelious when I was like eight years old, you know?

J: Yes.

C: I got kicked outta the "brownies" {A scouts section for little girls.} when I was eight years old for cussing, huhu, so...

J: Kicked out of the brownies is pretty rough.

C: [Laughs] I know, it's pretty bad.

J: Whad have you... you were cussing at someone?

C: Yeah, I was... no, there was like this "little paddie cake game", and... uhm...

J: Oh sure, we've just done before the show.

C: ... I was just cussing in the middle of every little thing [She shows with her hands how she threw up the cakes.] and I got kicked outta the brownies. And it was really sad.

J: Just for the...

C: Yeah.

J: And that really changed the course for the rest of your life.

C: I know, I know. I straightened up after that. [Everybody laughs.]

J: Now let me ask you about these photos on the internet.

C: Yeah. [She looks into the camera and bites on her tongue, smiling.]

J: Because... it says your name, and it says nude... but the only problem is, you don't have any neck on the photos [Jay draws in his head.]

C: Yes, it's... it's wonderful, 'cause I think I have a... [She raises her chin and touches her throat with both hands.] you know... I have a nice neck.

J: You have a beautiful neck.

C: And in these pictures, they... they superpose my face onto these bodies, and the girl... [She also draws in her head] is like this. It's like... horrible. [She smiles.]

J: I mean, do the people think it's you?

C: Yeah, they truly believe that it's me! Without a neck! [She smiles again, some people in the audience laugh.]



J: And... and you don't have any legal... You seem more annoyed that you have no neck than the nude... [Christina and the audience laugh.]

C: Yes, I don't care about the photos! It's not me naked!

J: Has your mom seen these?

C: Yeah, actually my mom is the one who told me about it. [Jay looks very confused, so the audience starts to laugh, and so does Christina.]

J: So your mom is surfing the net, looking at naked people, and... [The audience and Kevin laugh, Howie smiles, Christina also smiles and shakes her head, looking to the audience.] I mean, I guess there is no legal recourse. Can they...

C: No, there's nothing you can do 'cause it's not you, so...

J: Oh, that's right, but it's your face!

C: I know! I don't know, I don't know. You know? {Great line, Christina!}

J: Have... have you ever done... a nude scene?

C: No, no. I'm... I'm really ultimate about that.

J: That's something you wouldn't do.

C: No! [She shakes her head.] Absolutely not.

J: So you've never ever done a nude scene?

C: No, I'v never done a nude scene!

J: Are you sure?

C: [Some people in the audience clap and cheer, Christina smiles and looks into the camera.] I'm really positive that I've never done a nude scene!

J: Well, I have footage of you... in... a nude scene. [Christina mimes that she is shocked, some people in the audience laugh. Then Christina mimes to be embarrassed.] I think we are allowed to show this. This... in fact, this is you...

C: Did you go into my private vaults [She starts to smile.] while I was looking for...

J: This is you with your mom in a nude scene. [Christina looks at Jay with an astonished face, then into the camera.] Take a look. Your mom is also an actress, take a look. What is this...

N: [We see a commercial from the year 1972 in a very bad quality. A doctor in green clothing is holding a naked crying baby on its feet.] Her first cry! Beautiful! [Then we see Nancy take the baby out of her bed and into her arms. The baby still cries.] {The baby in the previous scene looked much younger and pretty different, so I guess there were two babies involved. The second one is Christina. As only the first baby was naked, this means that there is no nude scene of Christina in this clip!} But later on, after feeding her cries was something else.

J: That's your mom, huh?

C: Yeah.

N: [Then we can see a box of a Playtex baby nurser.] So I tried the "Playtex" nurser in case it was gas. [Now Nancy is sitting on a chair, feeding Christina with the nurser.] What a difference! Now she has less gas.



[Now we see Christina laughing. The audience laughs and applauds.]
{This clip was already shown on "The Cristina Show" in 1991, when Christina's mother Nancy Priddy was a guest of Cristina Ferrare. On "The Cristina Show", the commercial was even longer.}

J: Awwwww!

H: And you couldn't even see her neck!

J: No, no!

C: [To Howie, smiling:] Yeah, that was amazing!

H: And it's good to know now you have less gas.

J: She has less gas! [Christina and the audience laugh.] What were you about five months there? Four months? Something like that?

C: I think I was about... yeah, I think I was five months old when I did my first nude scene. It's amazing. [She laughs.]

J: Well then, there you are, so there you go.

C: Told you that I straightened up as I got older.

J: Now tell me about "The Big Hit". I... I've... I haven't seen the film, but I see promos about it on TV. Tell us about it.

C: I know, it's everywhere. It's a Film with Mark Wahlberg...

J: Mark Wahlberg! Now he was in "Boogie Nights".

C: Oh yes he was! [The audience laughs as he played a porno star in that movie.]

J: Were you expecting... big things to happen? [Christina and the audience laugh as Mark had 10 a inch (25 cm) long fake penis in that movie.]

C: I kept peeking... [She peeks to the floor.] but I am... no, actually I've... I was told that I have to say that in this film, that Mark, and Antonio Sabato, and Lou {Diamond Phillips} and Bokeem {Woodbine}, they all show their bare bottoms. 'Cause they want women to come to this film, so I was told that I have to tell you that, right now. [Nobody laughs or screams.]

J: You are the initiative that all the guys were there.

C: [Laughing:] Oh yeah!

J: So... so they are naked in this film.

C: There's just one shot where it's just... you know... the backsides. [She nods. The audience is completely silent.] There you go!

J: Well, I wanna see it now.

C: Yeah. [The audience laughs.]

J: Well, that's terrific.

C: That's how to get them into the theater, right?

J: Well, this is great! Congrat... The film opens when? [He looks on his card on the table.] This... uhm... this Friday.

C: Friday!

J: Friday. Alright. Christina Applegate! Thank you, Christina [He shakes hands with her. To her:] Alright, that was easy!? [To the camera:] Be right back with Randy Travis, right after this. [He twinkles with one eye. Christina smiles at Howie.]



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© Andreas Carl 1998