Bundyology - Interview Transcript

Late Night with Conan O'Brien (TV Show):
Transcript of a Chat with Christina Applegate

Last update May 21, 1998

Back to «Articles and Interviews»

Thanks a lot to Randel August, Ralph Morse, "Uli" and "MPWestco" for their corrections.

Christina Applegate on 'Late Night with Conan O'Brien',
an NBC late night talk show,
original airing in the night from April 7 to 8, 1998,
European premiere on April 8, 1998.

Key:
[] Description of action
{} Comments
Conan in capital letters

Conan's first guest was Matt Le Blanc from the sitcom "Friends". Matt appeared in three Married... with Children episodes as Vinnie Verducci: "Oldies But Young'Uns" (518), "Top of the Heap" (525) and "Kelly Does Hollywood, Part 1" (609). "Top of the Heap" was a spin-off episode for the series of the same name. Read more about Married... with Children's spin-offs at the General Facts Page. After Matt's appearance, Conan announces his second guest:

[To the camera] FOR ELEVEN YEARS, MY NEXT GUEST WAS KELLY BUNDY ON "MARRIED... WITH CHILDREN". HER NEW MOVIE "THE BIG HIT" OPENS APRIL 24TH. PLEASE WELCOME -- CHRISTINA APPLEGATE!

[The Band starts to play. Conan and his sidekick Andy Richter stand up. Christina enters in a black dress and a beige short-sleeved open blouse. She shakes Andy and Conan's hands, sits down and tries to put on the microphone, her head down.] Hello.

WELCOME.
[She smiles to the audience, then she lowers her head again, still busy with the microphone] How are you doin'?

[About the microphone] YOU GET THAT EVERYWHERE. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON THE SHOW!
You're welcome!

NICE TO HAVE YOU HERE... AND YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S ESPECIALLY NICE FOR YOU TO COME BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND YOU DON'T LIKE TO FLY, AND WE ARE IN NEW YORK... AND YOU ACTUALLY GOT YOURSELF ON A PLANE AND CAME OUT.
Yes, I got myself on a plane. I mean they urged me by saying "You must go... for this movie!"

HOW... HOW SCARING...
You are going or you die!

REALLY!?
Uhm... [she giggles] so, uhm, I... I'm pretty petrified of flying. I usually... I get on a have these rituals of a... I take out the... the thing with the emergency card...

RIGHT.
... and I look at the front and I look at the back and I put it down, and I know it's gonna be okay.

THAT'S A BAD... NO THAT'S THE LAST THING YOU SHOULD LOOK AT, 'CAUSE THAT HAS ALWAYS THE DIAGRAM OF THE PLANE TILTED TOWARDS WATER [He holds up his hand to illustrate that. The audience laughs.]. YOU KNOW, AND A GUY JUST GOING LIKE THIS [He lowers his had to his knees and puts both hands on his head, then he goes back to an upright position.]. "THIS WILL PROTECT ME FROM THE IMPACT."
No, it's just a looking at it very quickly, sort of a superstition.

RIGHT, RIGHT. WELL, WHATEVER YOU'D HAVE TO DO TO GET ON A PLANE, WE'RE VERY HAPPY TO HAVE YOU HERE...
[Softly] Thank you.

... AND I WAS CURIOUS, NOT MANY SHOWS LAST ELEVEN YEARS... AND HAVE THAT KIND OF VISIBILITY.
No, I know.

THERE MUST BE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO ALMOST ASSOCIATE YOU TOO CLOSELY WITH YOUR CHARACTER ON THE SHOW. DO YOU EVER HAVE PEOPLE THAT JUST ASSUME "OKAY, YOU'RE A DUMB BLONDE" JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE THAT CHARACTER ON THE SHOW?
[Christina is just staring straight, after a second she moves her head towards Conan, saying with a blank face:] Could you repeat the question, please? [Conan and the audience laugh out loud, Christina is holding her expression.]

I DON'T THINK THAT'S NECESSARY. [The audience applauds, Christina starts to smile to the audience.]
I would think... uhm... I, you know, nowadays I don't run into it as often, but I was dating this... uuh... [She smiles.] I was dating this guy once, and I guess a friend of the family had found out that I was dating him and said: "He is dating that slut?! I can't believe he's dating that slut!" I thought: "What is this woman, retarded?" [She and the audience laugh out.] I mean, it's like a character that I play.

BUT PEOPLE GET VERY CONFUSED BY TELEVISION.
They get really confused.

PEOPLE THINK THIS IS MY REAL HAIR, HU HU, AND... [The audience laughs.] UHM...
I always wondered about your hair.

IT'S A VELCRO THING. [He mimes to put it on with a squeaking sound. The audience laughs.] UHH... [He lowers his head towards Christina.] DO YOU LIKEE? FEEL FREE TO SMELL AND TOUCH, UHH! [Christina touches it.]
Then watching it... go through all of its phases over last five years.

I KNOW. FOR THE FIRST SEASON, IT WAS JUST THAT GIANT POMPADOUR [He signifies it with his hands over his head.] THAT WAS KNOCKING OUT CLEAVE LIGHTS EVERY NIGHT I CAME OUT. "HELLO AND WELCOME, THIS IS MY FRIEND 'HAIRO'!" [He opens and closes his hands quickly and changes to a high voice:] "HI, HOW ARE YOU?" [The audience laughs.] BUT NOW, EVERYTHING IS FINE. YOU KNOW WHAT... YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN THE TABLOIDS A LOT, UH, AND, I WAS CURIOUS DOES THAT...
[Slowly and softly:] Yeah.

HOW BIZARRE DOES THAT GET, BECAUSE, YOU'RE JUST... YOU'RE ALMOST IN EVERY TABLOID. AND I READ THEM, 'CAUSE... [The audience laughs.]
Really!?

I BELIEVED EVERYTHING IN THOSE TABLOIDS.
Just sittin' on the john, just readin' about me...

I DON'T EVER GO TO THE BATHROOM! [The audience laughs.]
Wow! [Silently:] That's amazing.

I'M THE NEW SERIES OF CYBORG [Some people laugh.]. TELL US WHAT LIKE... WHAT KINDA... IS ANY OF THAT STUFF TRUE?
I... you know what I think, 90% of it is made up and about 10% has a little bit of truth...

WHAT KIND OF STUFF ARE THEY SAYING ABOUT YOU?
God. Well, there was said some pretty interesting things about me. Uhm, but... uh... I remember one in particular that they had said that I was out sunbathing in my backyard... which at that time I didn't have a house with a backyard, which I thought that was very interesting. And that some guy was in a tree watching me sunbathing, and he fell out of the tree and broke his arm and I gave him money for a cab to go to the hospital. And I thought that was... {She already told this story in her 1992 appearance on David Letterman}

IT'S A GREAT STORY! MAKES YOU SOUND...
It's a wonderful story!

IT MAKES YOU SOUND VERY NICE, IT MAKES YOU WONDER "WHO'S THAT GUY JUST IN A TREE?"
Yeah, some guy in a tee watching me sunbathing, which -- you know -- was completely made up.

YEAH.
Just somebody else's dream, I guess.

WELL, SPEAKING OF HOUSES, I WAS FASCINATED... YOU GOT IN THIS BUSINESS A LOT EARLIER THAN MOST PEOPLE THINK YOU DID...
I popped out and I started working {She already used the expression "pop out" in her 1992 appearance on David Letterman}. That was about it. [Conan and Christina start to laugh.]

THAT'S A NICE IMAGE! "IT'S A GIRL!" [With a high voice:] "AND I'M WORKING!" UHH... [The audience laughs.] YOU BOUGHT YOUR FIRST... YOU MADE MONEY DOING VOICEOVERS, I GUESS.
Yeah, I was... I did the... uhh... the Kmart... uhh... Miss Good Proof commercials on the radio for alike four years.

AND THIS MADE YOU SOME GOOD MONEY, AND I WAS TOTALLY...
[Very cool:] Oh yeah, baby, ha ha... I had... I had good clothes at five years old.

[Laughing:] REALLY? A FLOOR-LENGTH LEATHER COAT.
[Laughing.] Yeah!

UHH, I READ THAT YOU BOUGHT YOUR FIRST HOUSE WITH THAT MONEY WHEN YOU WERE SEVEN YEARS OLD. IS THAT TRUE?
That is absolutely correct. My mother actually invested it for me, I mean I wasn't the guy with out with the realtor going [She puts her index finger to her chin and looks to a virtual room in front of her] "Hmm, you know, I'm not really happy about this bedroom," you know? It wasn't like that, but she invested my money when I was about seven years old in this house.

'CAUSE I WAS THINKING IF... WHEN I FIRST HEARD OF I THOUGHT YOU DID PIC OUT THE HOUSE. AND I WAS THINKING, WHEN YOU'RE SEVEN YEARS OLD, YOU... YOU HAVE YOUR...
Hey Conan, I was seven years old! [She laughs.]

[Conan bends forward to Christina, points with his index fingers towards his head and begins to spin them.] HE'S NOT SO SMARTIE!
[Christina catches his drift.] Yeao! [The audience laughs, then so does Christina.]

UH, BUT I WAS THINKING WHEN I WAS... WHEN I WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD... OTHER KIDS USED TO DO THIS, TOO, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU EVER DID THE SAME, BUT I WOULD DREAM ABOUT LIKE... YOU WOULD DESIGN YOU FANTASY HOUSE. AND IT WOULD HAVE THE GIANT CHOCOLATE MILK DISPENSER ON THE ROOF, AND THE JELLY BEAN VAULT AND THINGS LIKE THAT...
I know. This house wasn't like that at all. I mean, I don't even think I was in on... on the picking of the house. I hadn't... you know, I had tenants. I rented it out, so I was a landlord.

YOU WERE A LANDLORD AT SEVEN?!
... I was a landlord. I thought that was...

[With a high voice, pointing at imaginary tenants:] YOU AND YOU, HIT THE ROAD. [The audience laughs.]
I thought that was so cool! When I was in school I just thought that I was, you know, [cool:] "That was it! You know, my tenants are going outta town for a couple of weeks and we got the pad to ourselves..." [Everybody laughs.]

"WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE?" "INDIAN CHIEF!" "WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE?" "FIREMAN!" "WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE?" "SLUMLORD!" [Everybody laughs.] UH, "THE BIG HIT" IS WITH MARK WAHLBERG.
Yeah, he's so wonderful, wonderful.

YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD GUY TO BE WORKING WITH RIGHT NOW.
Yeah, I know. [Louder:] I saw "Boogie Nights" after we finished filming, and I went [She makes a gesture with her fist and whispers:] "Yes, we're going to make [With her normal voice:] so much money, this movie's gonna do so well!" [Conan looks shocked, so Christina laughs embarrassedly.]

[Disgusted:] YOU THINK ABOUT THE MONEY?
[Loud:] No, not... you know... I just... I was really happy for the film [Conan shakes his head.], because now, you know, now Mark is like... he's a big star!

[Conan laughs.] I'M SHOCKED, YOU DIDN'T FIRST THINK ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE FILM. [The audience laughs out.] YOU SICKEN ME, CHRISTINA! [The audience laughs louder.] WELL, THIS MOVIE SOUNDS GREAT. IT OPENS FRIDAY, APRIL 24TH
Yes.

RIGHT, AND YOUR OTHER FILMS... "MAFIA"... YOU HAVE SO MANY MOVIES OUT NOW... "MAFIA" AND "CLAUDINE'S RETURN". THAT'S... THEY'RE GOING TO BE OUT THIS SUMMER, BOTH OF THEM?
Yeah, during this year.

HEY, WELL, THANKS THAT WE... WE'VE ALWAYS WANTED YOU TO COME BY ON THE SHOW...
I know, I know

THANKS SO MUCH FOR FINALLY BEING HERE
Thank you! [They shake hands.]

GOOD TO HAVE YOU ON THE PROGRAMME. [To the audience which starts to applaude:] CHRISTINA APPLEGATE, EVERYBODY! WE'LL TAKE A BREAK. WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "SEMI SONIC".

[Christina shakes hands with Andy Richter next to her. The band starts to play. Then Christina also takes Conan's hand. The camera switches to Max Weinberg, the drumming band leader of "The Max Weinberg 7".]

"Uli" provides a 15 MB Real Audio file of this chat and an illustrated version of the transcript at his Christina Meets Conan Page.

Back to the top of this page

Back to «Articles and Interviews»